Within the past year or so, I’ve noticed some of my favorite plus size influencers have been exercising like crazy or having gastric bypass surgeries and have lost most, if not all of their weight compared to when they first started. At first, I’ll admit, I was a little sad that the women I looked up to fashion-wise were now half my size. (It was the same feeling I had when Jennifer Hudson lost all her weight.) Now, however, I couldn’t be any happier for them. It takes a lot of hard work and consistency to lose weight and change up habits that die hard. If a certain way of life isn’t serving you well anymore, change it. For me, unfortunately, this is something I’ve been struggling with my whole life: weight loss. Do it or not? It scares the crap out of me for some reason.
My whole life I’ve been plus size, fat, fluffy, whatever you want to call it. I don’t know what my life will look like 50 to 100 lbs smaller. I’ve encountered a lot of people who’d tell me if I shed the weight I’d be a force to be reckoned with. Why can’t I be that now? I can be fat and fabulous at the same time. Weight loss doesn’t give you finesse, you’re born with it. Of course, there are health issues that come with being my size that I would like to get rid of, but I don’t want anyone for a second to think that I would lose weight because I hate how I look or to fit in society. My goal in life to be the best person I can be and help others, not be palatable to a society who’ll judge me regardless of what I do.
Honestly, it scares me that people won’t find my before pictures as beautiful as my after ones. My identity for most of my life has been rooted in the fact that I’m a big girl. What does my life look like a smaller individual? Will people who haven’t given me the time of day now want to date me? Will I be respected more if I’m smaller? Well, this year I’m going to find out. Don’t get me wrong, I am #teamfluffy and #teamfupa for life. I just want to be a little smaller. There are certain things I want to do and wear that I just don’t feel comfortable with in my current state. I just want to go up a flight of stairs and not feel like I’m gonna die in 5.2 seconds lol. What are your thoughts on weight loss and identity? Leave a comment below. Love you guys!
P.S.: You’re beautiful just the way you are. Don’t change for others, change for yourself. *hugs*