My Journey to Loving Myself…So Far

**Disclaimer: I don’t promise that what I did to help myself will help you as well. I speak for my own journey in this post. Also, nothing takes the place of getting proper help and seeing a psychologist, Thank you. *hugs**

Loving yourself unapologetically is a never-ending process. There are gonna be some highs, some lows, and you’ll see some plateaus as well. As long as you’re moving forward, you’re doing something right.
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For a long time, I was very insecure about not only my body but my talents, my style choices, and even my relationships. I second-guessed every decision I made, I wasn’t confident in my gifts and ultimately the fear of failure and letting people down was crippling me. I was so scared to fail. I never thought I’d be good enough or different enough to stand out from the crowd. I let people treat me any way they wanted to because I didn’t value myself or my time enough to protect it. I just wanted people to like me, to be in the number, even if that meant letting people use and disrespect me. I literally hated myself, like I couldn’t find one good thing about myself most days. Some days I couldn’t even look in a mirror. Ultimately, I slipped into a depression. I couldn’t sleep, I had no desire to create, I was stuck in this sad hole and at the time, I didn’t know how to get out.
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I can’t remember exactly when the shift happened, but I slowly started believing in myself, I wasn’t so afraid of failure and I started to make a game plan. I started interacting and reconnecting with people who believed in me and the rest started to become history. I mean, everyone has their days, but I’m nowhere near where I used to be. Growing to love yourself is always a step in the right direction. It doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time.

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What also helped me through tough days is finding at least one thing that I love about myself every day. One day it was my eyes, the next day my hair, then my booty and so on. Eventually, the whole package wasn’t so bad. I made myself look in the mirror and say “I am beautiful” whether it be out loud or in my mind. I started getting rid of old things I had no need or want for and just started generating a game plan for my life. I will also say it was good to have people in my corner who could give me a different perspective on things and to not give up when things got rough. I tend to overthink some things, so having people around who can calm your spirit or call out your crazy is important to have. Still to this day, I sometimes say things about myself and my friends are like, “What are you talking about?” lol. It doesn’t help that I’m a perfectionist, but that’s another story.

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I say this to say that every day, whatever mood I’m in. I choose to love myself and live my life. I choose to push through the negativity and pursue positivity. I’m learning to accept myself, while also growing into the woman I aspire to be. By no means is it easy, but as I fight for my life, I find purpose within doing so. I wake up every day with the intention of being better than I was the day before. I’ll fall short some days but I’m striving and sometimes that’s all you need. I encourage you to love yourself also. We are all made different for a reason, so you possess something the world needs. Your life matters, choose to be great in whatever you choose to do and never stop loving yourself. *hugs*

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One thought on “My Journey to Loving Myself…So Far

  1. Justus Jermaine says:

    It’s true, I remember hearing you sing in the break room and thinking yes! She is in there living the beginning of her best life! Then accompanying greats on stage! The greatness and love for yourself is so real and inspiring!

    Liked by 1 person

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