**Disclaimer: I don’t promise that what I did to help myself will help you as well. I speak for my own journey in this post. Also, nothing takes the place of getting proper help and seeing a psychologist, Thank you. *hugs**
Loving yourself unapologetically is a never-ending process. There are gonna be some highs, some lows, and you’ll see some plateaus as well. As long as you’re moving forward, you’re doing something right.
For a long time, I was very insecure about not only my body but my talents, my style choices, and even my relationships. I second-guessed every decision I made, I wasn’t confident in my gifts and ultimately the fear of failure and letting people down was crippling me. I was so scared to fail. I never thought I’d be good enough or different enough to stand out from the crowd. I let people treat me any way they wanted to because I didn’t value myself or my time enough to protect it. I just wanted people to like me, to be in the number, even if that meant letting people use and disrespect me. I literally hated myself, like I couldn’t find one good thing about myself most days. Some days I couldn’t even look in a mirror. Ultimately, I slipped into a depression. I couldn’t sleep, I had no desire to create, I was stuck in this sad hole and at the time, I didn’t know how to get out.
I can’t remember exactly when the shift happened, but I slowly started believing in myself, I wasn’t so afraid of failure and I started to make a game plan. I started interacting and reconnecting with people who believed in me and the rest started to become history. I mean, everyone has their days, but I’m nowhere near where I used to be. Growing to love yourself is always a step in the right direction. It doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time.
What also helped me through tough days is finding at least one thing that I love about myself every day. One day it was my eyes, the next day my hair, then my booty and so on. Eventually, the whole package wasn’t so bad. I made myself look in the mirror and say “I am beautiful” whether it be out loud or in my mind. I started getting rid of old things I had no need or want for and just started generating a game plan for my life. I will also say it was good to have people in my corner who could give me a different perspective on things and to not give up when things got rough. I tend to overthink some things, so having people around who can calm your spirit or call out your crazy is important to have. Still to this day, I sometimes say things about myself and my friends are like, “What are you talking about?” lol. It doesn’t help that I’m a perfectionist, but that’s another story.
I say this to say that every day, whatever mood I’m in. I choose to love myself and live my life. I choose to push through the negativity and pursue positivity. I’m learning to accept myself, while also growing into the woman I aspire to be. By no means is it easy, but as I fight for my life, I find purpose within doing so. I wake up every day with the intention of being better than I was the day before. I’ll fall short some days but I’m striving and sometimes that’s all you need. I encourage you to love yourself also. We are all made different for a reason, so you possess something the world needs. Your life matters, choose to be great in whatever you choose to do and never stop loving yourself. *hugs*